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How Stoicism Helps You Let Go of Regret — 3 Powerful Strategies

August 13, 2025

1. Focus on What You Can Control

Regret often stems from dwelling on what already happened—something we can never change. Stoicism reminds us to recognize that only our mindset and current actions lie within our power Daily StoicPsychology Spot.

  • Key principle: As Epictetus advised, examine whether an idea belongs to what you control. If not—let it go Psychology Spot.

  • When regret surfaces: Pause and ask, “What can I do right now?”—redirect your energy toward actionable, present‑focused solutions.


2. Embrace Your Fate — “Amor Fati”

More than acceptance, amor fati means loving your fate—even the tough parts.

  • Stoic insight: Marcus Aurelius emphasized that our suffering comes not from events themselves, but from our judgments—and those judgments can be rewritten Daily StoicPsychology Spot.

  • Shift your lens: View setbacks as essential to your story. What initially felt like a misstep might lead to unexpected opportunities or growth.

  • Let it happen gracefully: Instead of resisting, find meaning in every experience—even the painful ones—as part of your character’s tapestry Daily Stoiclevelstoic.net.


3. Prepare for Rough Waters — Premeditatio Malorum

Anticipating challenges doesn’t make you negative—it makes you resilient.

  • What Stoics practiced: Premeditatio malorum—imagining possible obstacles beforehand—so you’re not blindsided when things go awry Daily StoicPsychology Spotlevelstoic.net.

  • Mindset payoff: When reality falls short of our expectations, it stings. But if you’ve already envisioned challenges, their impact lessens—making room for calm presence and wise action Daily Stoiclevelstoic.netWikipedia.


Putting It All Together: A Stoic Blueprint for Handling Regret

  1. Identify the regret — Acknowledge it without judgment.

  2. Assess control — What part of this can you influence now? Release the rest.

  3. Reframe with Amor Fati — How might this painful experience have shaped something positive today?

  4. Use negative visualization — What’s the worst that could’ve happened? Often, our actual regret seems far milder in contrast.

  5. Act in the present — Take one small, constructive step to move forward with clarity and purpose.


Stoic Voices in the Wild

Here’s a real-world expression of Stoic thought from an online community:

“The feeling of sadness and despair that come from regret are useless, but…under it a pearl of sorts can form…you can say ‘These things I wished for myself… I can apologize… take those things I regret as little pearls to make myself even better in the future.’” Reddit

This beautifully captures Stoicism’s essence: not denying regret, but transforming it into a seed of personal growth.


Quick-Reference Table

Stoic Strategy What It Does How It Helps
Focus on What You Control Releases the past, empowers current choices Stops rumination; energizes action
Amor Fati Embraces the totality of your journey Turns pain into purpose and acceptance
Premeditatio Malorum Prepares you emotionally for setbacks Reduces shock; fosters resilience

Final Thoughts

Regret is a natural emotion—but it doesn’t have to be your compass. Stoicism gives you tools to transform regret into clarity, acceptance, and forward momentum:

  • Let go of what’s beyond your control.

  • Love what life has given you, even the hard bits.

  • Envision potential difficulties so you’re not derailed by them.

  • Act wisely in the present, grounded by insight rather than emotion.

With these simple yet profound shifts, regret evolves from a burden into a builder—refining your resilience and illuminating your present path.

Written by Pawan Barapatre

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